12 Search Results for: good grief

good grief

I’ve made references, here and there in the last year and a half, to traveling near and far to help care for someone I love who was ill.  I’ve written a little about the push and pull of never quite being where you are, your mind and heart half at home and half with the loved one, whichever place you happen, physically, to be.  I didn’t share a lot of identifying details.  I still won’t.  But I will tell you that the person who was ill was one of my two sisters. She died on February 28th. She was ill privately, and she died privately, and we spoke in celebration of her life privately, and I am not about to steer the family ship onto another course.  But I did want to tell you where I have been. I am not sure I could tell you where it is that I presently find myself.  When someone is gravely ill, humans (unlike the wild things in Wendell Berry’s poem, one I have always viewed, gratefully, as …

have your cake | baking for who's in your heart on a raisin + a porpose

have your cake

A hair over seventeen years ago at this time, I was enormously pregnant with my second baby and facing re-jiggered calculations on the part of those with the slide rules and calculators which indicated that the second baby might very likely be born on the fourth birthday of the first. This did not seem ideal to me, for numerous reasons, but I was reassured by science and experts that there was very little to be done about it at that point. They underestimated me and the baby, in many respects. But we can get to that in a minute. While we were still hypermentalating about the potentially shared (or near-shared) birthday notion, my husband gently raised the subject with the birthday’s sole proprietor at that time. “You know,” he said, super casually, while we were driving and talk, as usual, centered around the upcoming celebration of being four, “Mama might be kind of busy on your birthday this year, so someone else may need to make your birthday cake.” I added that maybe we could …

marmalade: must we? | new post on a raisin + a porpoise

haul pass

In reversals of fortune of any scale, there’s a tension for me between giving myself a break because I’m going through something difficult and doubling down because the work is unfinished. And as long as we’re on this side of the grass, the work is unfinished: the work of grief, or recovery, or redress, or of just attending to life in general.  Whatever work there is, it certainly gets an assist from rest and recharge. But the personal ‘by’ is tricky tool to employ well. There’s a big risk of letting the self miss important opportunities. There’s no shortage of fresh horrors to compound the political news that seemed to reach its apex on November 9th, but re-grouping from the wallop of the election results is not something we can really afford, as citizens, to drag out. Because that wasn’t the apex. It was the opening bell of the next round. Good people are out there doing the work of resistance, and they need help. [If you have not already done this, please click here …