I’ll say one thing about moping. You can turn up some interesting stuff on the internet. Let’s not explore how it is that I came to see the story about the fake poodles:
Let’s also not, for the moment, delve into how anyone could need a veterinarian to tell them that their ‘poodle’ was a ferret. Let’s furthermore leave aside what the woman who was in the market for a chihuahua (a notion which in and of itself raises more questions than it answers, frankly) actually went home with. OK–it was also a rodent. SHE COULDN’T TELL THE DIFFERENCE. I’m just saying.
Let’s instead focus our attentions on how the people (there must be some–it’s a big wide world) who are actually in the market for a ferret on steroids could be duped right here in my yard:
It’s striking, isn’t it? Anyone ready to buy? We take Visa and MasterCard.
If, instead, you are ready to eat granola, which I am at most any time of day, get busy with this excellent version from Marisa McClellan’s highly motivating Food In Jars cookbook, and follow her blog, too, if you don’t already. I was going to say that I made her granola as written, but then I realized (a) I almost never make anything as written because (b) it’s usually the case that I lack some item in the pantry and wing it regardless. This was no exception. I had no sunflower seeds, which she called for, so I increased the almonds. But what I did do as written was measure the honey she called for (1/2 cup) and the oil, (1/4 cup) and keep the dry ingredients in the same proportion to the wet. It was a little sweet for me, but this did not stop me from eating almost the entire batch before trying the recipe again with a little less honey. In the name of science. The second batch was not as shiny and gorgeous as the first (that was movie-star granola, ready for a close-up), but it was otherwise in all ways stupendous. There is something ridunkulous about the buckwheat in there. Tastes of virtue, for one (how can a “groat” not be exceptionally healthy?) and tastes mysterious and addictive, too.
If you happen to be in possession of a jar of grape and fennel jam (thank you, Glutton) and some plain Greek yogurt, then Bob is your best uncle. That is why I had to unsweeten the granola–to make room for the jam.
adapted from Food in Jars
- 2 1/2 c rolled oats
- 3/4 c chopped or slivered almonds
- 3/4 c toasted buckwheat groats*
- 1/2 c coconut ribbons
- 1/4 t sea salt
- 1/2 t ground cinnamon
- 1/3 c safflower, canola or other neutral oil
- 1/3 c honey
- Optional: 1/2 c dried cherries, apricots or raisins
Heat the oven to 325.
In a large bowl, combine the oats, almonds, buckwheat, coconut, salt & cinnamon. Mix well.
Measure the oil and swirl it around the measuring cup; pour it over the oat mixture, then use the same cup to measure the honey. Pour that in the bowl too, and mix everything very well. Spread the mixture on a rimmed baking sheet and bake until it is toasty, about 30 minutes, stirring two or three times over that period to ensure even browning. Bear in mind that granola hardens as it cools, so don’t bake until crisp–just watch for a nice even toasty color.
Remove it from the oven and stir in any fruit you may be using. Marisa says the granola will clump (making it easier to snack it out of the jar and save washing a bowl and spoon) if you mound it up on the baking sheet to cool. When it is completely cool, eat it all or pour it into an airtight container.
*If you have only have access to raw buckwheat groats, toasting them is a matter of one to two attentive minutes stirring them in a heavy dry skillet.